Sorgatron ’08: Deluxe Debate Edition

From Sorgatron ’08.

“The difference between talking out of your ass between writing and video is that one’s a blogger, and the other is a paid pundit. Someone give me a camera.”

First of all, before getting into the fun stuff, I do have to disclose that Sorgatron was invited to tonight’s debatesin Mississippi, but could not attend due to a personal banking crisis. But I would like to also point out that Stoke Monkey was also declined to attend due to something called a “Simian Seance Meeting for New Jersey’s Proliferation” Whatever that means.

So the election. I was happy to see not talk of flipfloppers, or curious bulge in the back of the candidates that made 2004 suspect. Instead with had a soule brother and a pasty white dude. So things look excitedly different then…forever!

Of course we hit the economy, talking about numbers and figures that will make the common folks’ head spin. Seriously, the common American doesn’t understand just exactly what happened last Monday. All they know is that they might lose their house, and we’re asking for $700 Billion of their money to fix it. The president didn’t make things better with his speech. We’re all too busy counting pennies to try to be able to drive to work to pay for more overpriced gas and a mortgage that may default under their feet. The only real change any of this means that can be seen? No more of those clever WaMu commercials since they were purchased over the whole affair, at least that I would guess.

Foreign affairs. We’re aparently afraid of everyone again. Obama wants us to go to the source, Afganastan. Y’know where Osama is. Y’know, the plan that makes sense with everything we’d been told about 9/11. You know, the big fate changing day some 7 years ago? Thanks for weakening our forces. Thanks to the vulnerability of distributing our forces all across Iraq, leaving us open to threats of and agressive Russa, a quizzicle North Korea (just because their 3 inches shorter than South Koreans..), and a scary large China that we owe a lot of money. What’s the plan? Have Palin throw rocks at Russia from her house?

Anyways, most of the night consisted of finger pointing, and instances of questionable fact checking. Both candidates’ plans will add to a deficet. McCain had a lot of touching stories, including one about Roosevelt. Too bad the facts were wrong. Wonder about those other stories now.

So WWSD? (What Would Sorgatron Do?) Lets not talk economics. Sorgatron would hire an accountant. Because the President is not an accountant, and he’s handing out money we don’t have left and right. Foreign policy? Talk talk talk. The dialog needs to open up. Sorgatron is not apposed to playing putt putt with Putin.

Stay tuned. I’m just getting warmed up. And be sure to watch my twitter during instances such as these debates. I’m sure to be fairly vocal. I’ve held my tounge for a good long time. Lets have some fun with this.

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